Do not let your ego be stained when your neighbor in need asks for your help

The month of August this year brought many unexpected events. One of them was the unexpected news I personally received from some close friends of our family who are going through a difficult time in their own home. We found out directly from them about what had happened, and we didn't know what to do because it was an event related to the poor health of one of their parents, who unfortunately ended up being sent to a hospital – that was far below standards in terms of cleanliness, services, and equipment. To be more specific, the father of this acquaintance had a stroke.

At first, I started praying to God to have mercy on him and bring him back home safely. But even if he came back home, their situation there wasn't great, like it is for other people. They don't have heating in the winter, no running water, and I can't even say anything about the toilet for their daily needs. Perhaps the toilet and heating are not so important to some people, but the miserable conditions in which these people live, the low standard of living and the derisory pensions in our country (Romania) do not allow them to live decently, hygienically and even to survive.

As a result, their daughter gave up her daily job in the UK and came with her husband and their little girl to help her parents as best they could. And because their paperwork with the documents took longer than it should have, they were unable to find jobs or integrate into the rural community. The church community where they ended up saw their needs and began to support them, each as best they could – with that little that they had.

They began to renovate their parents' house and tried to turn it into a home, a clean place where they could lay their heads, eat a piece of bread with gratitude, and hope for a new day, for another day of life.

And as we all know, troubles never come alone, other unexpected events followed this incident. Increased electricity bills, excessive bills from suppliers, hospitalization, medication and much more. This led to a crisis that was way beyond what they could handle. This avalanche of events prompted our friends to start a campaign on GoFundMe to raise money from anyone who wanted to donate, so they could take care of the most urgent needs of the house: an indoor bathroom and toilet suitable for her disabled parents, as well as a heating system to keep these and the house safe during the winter. The estimated costs amounted to £10,000, and slowly but surely, strangers began to send money, each according to their means.

In the meantime, the father who had suffered a stroke was discharged from hospital and, as the family could not afford to pay anyone to do the above-mentioned work, they started digging the sewer line themselves, repairing the electrical cables, and laying water pipes to the house, which will later need to be insulated and protected from the cold that will come in the winter months.

I followed the reactions my friends received to their Facebook campaign asking for help from those around them to provide her disabled parents with better, more decent living conditions. Some donated anonymously, others knocked on doors with messages of encouragement, someone sent a toilet seat for people with disabilities, a woman heard the voice of God and came to bring some money; she was still in doubt and crying when she knocked on their door and asked if they needed money—the confirmation was given to her right there by our friends as I mentioned above.

The less pleasant part is that some people, who I can only describe as ill-wishers, started sending them messages of contempt. Messages such as "Christians don't beg, they pray," or telling them to take down those messages from Facebook and end the GoFundMe campaign as well. These are just the words they use on the surface; I cannot repeat the harsher and more hurtful words here because I was deeply hurt to hear them when our friends told us about them in response to their campaign to try to help their family.

I sat and analyzed the situation, and what these "malicious people," who also called themselves "Christians," did – that did not sound good at all! Later, I remembered the passage in Scripture where the Savior says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8, NIV). How would others know that you need help if you don't express it verbally?

Let's say that in this hot summer weather you are walking in the sun, you are dehydrated, and after a while you arrive at a Christian's house and want to drink some water, but you don't say anything to the person. You greet them, smile awkwardly, and in your mind you say a short prayer, "Lord, make him give me a glass of cold water, because I am so thirsty and dehydrated!" Of course, if you don't say you're thirsty, the person won't give you water because they can't read your thoughts or needs, and chances are they won't give you any water at all! Maybe your presence there makes them uncomfortable, or maybe you haven't seen each other in a while. If you don't physically open your mouth to express your need, you will never get what you know you need then and there.

Therefore, I believe that my friends' action of publicly expressing their request for help is justified by what the Savior said, which is why the words of Scripture are being fulfilled before their very eyes. What bothers me the most—and I am sure it bothers Chris the Savior as well—is that those who saw the message asking for help did not jump in to do something good, to help with what little they had, but had the nerve to jump in with their loose lips and words of reproach to criticize these poor people for asking for help in their urgent need.

But all these things are further proof that the ego of these people is more important than serving others. Because the words of the Savior in the Gospel of Matthew (to use the same book of the New Testament) also say something else that is true about them: "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." (Matthew 12:34, NIV)

Yes, we don't feel good when we do good to others, but do we feel good when we speak negatively to them?

I have not yet heard such a message preached from the pulpits of any church whatsoever. And I don't think there is anyone in this world who would have the slightest audacity to urge people in the Christian community to do this: when you see your brother in trouble, go to him and treat him with contempt and mock him and defame him, saying that sin has brought him there in that very situation he is in!

Perhaps the parable of the Good Samaritan would be a better example here. Because neither the priest nor the Levite, who had a duty to help those in need, rushed to help a man in distress on the road. It was a stranger who saw what had happened and rushed to help.

This is exactly what happened to my friends. Those "of the faith" (that is, the so-called Christians that criticized their actions) began to point fingers at them because they posted a GoFundMe campaign, wrote to Christian associations and people of God to ask for help, but they were turned away. To the amazement of all who read these words, strangers, people from other Christian denominations, who have no connection with the faith and church of my friends, jumped in to help them!

Let us not be surprised that the passage that says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world," (James 1:27, NIV) actually refers to our actions, which speak louder than our words. It is what we do for those in need that matters most. Through this, people around us will see our deeds and turn to us to ask how we do such things. But it is easier to "talk the talk" and curse everyone around you when you see them in need, instead of being an example yourself, lending a helping hand, doing good to your neighbor, whether you know him or not, whether he is a siner or a disabled person.

As I was writing these words, I remembered a passage from the Old Testament that is not preached in churches because serving other is no longer a priority for many. Our ego seems to be more important, you know, the high position and a good name, right? Here is what this passage says:

"‘Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the LORD. “‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly. “‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people. “‘Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the LORD. “‘Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:14-18, NTR, emphasis mine).

If God puts it on your heart to help this family, please click on this link to make a donation. For those who would like more details, or would like receipts and proof of what is being done with the donated money, please contact me privately and I will put you in contact with this family. May God bless you and help you to be an example to those in need. When someone in trouble asks for your help, at least do something, don't speak ill of them.

Note: To make this message complete, I must also provide the definition of the words used in this material and justify what I have written above:

Ego = A very high, often exaggerated and unjustified opinion of oneself, one's value and social importance (Taken from DexOnline, a Romanian dictionary, source, translated into English by me)

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV, emphasis mine).

NOTE: This is an article that was previously published on this blog in Romanian and my friends requested an English version of it. The article was written and published by Nick Laurențiu Nica, the main editor of this blog.